On Kookabakka Music

What is Kookabakka music? Read on, and you will know! Musical terminology is failing to label many things, but surely one of the most glaring omissions is what shall henceforth be known as Kookabakka music (Dutch: Koeckebackemuziek, German: Kucke-backe-musik, French: Musique quooque-baque). What is Kookabakka music? It’s music that features the specific sound created by …

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Narrative Etymology: Eek-hoorns

How the Eekhoorn got his name. Once upon a time, there were three English cousins named Richard, Prudence and Adrian. They got it in their mind to visit the Netherlands because they loved cheese so much, and they had heard tales of the low country’s legendary cheese shops – even markets! – that they just …

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Kifffarces (4): Kiff in Tranfylfania

Several years ago, the Freakingly Frightening rock-music group Kiff was touring in Eastern Europe. It had been a busy schedule, but in Tranfylfania they had a break of a few days and decided to head out for a stroll in the mountains. Now, even if any one of them had ever been a Boy Scout, …

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Kifffarces (3): Kiff does the Lambeth Walk

One fine day, the infamously bloodcurdling rock act Kiff was strolling down Lambeth Road, doing the Lambeth Walk, or, as the case might be, to the degree their Scary Outfits allowed them to. Passers-by reacted appropriately: elderly ladies shrieked and hid themselves, Japanese tourists took pictures, and one strapping lad from Inverness had jumped into …

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Kifffarces (2): Kiff & the Plumber

The Colossally Macabre Rock Formation Kiff was touring one day, and in a smallish mid-western town they were booked into a particularly crappy hotel. The bass player, quite to the disgruntlement of the rest, was in a very playful mood and he stomped, giggling maniacally, from room to room on his plateau boots, opening all …

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Kifffarces (1): Kiff in Houston, Texas

Kiff, the renowned Macabre Squad, were walking down the street in Houston one day. In the houses lining both sides of the southern suburban street, sitting in their rocking chairs on the front porch and traditional blunderbuss on their knees, Houstonian old-timers, on account of their being uninterested in pop music and hence not appropriately …

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Hendrik the Temporally- challenged Hipster

An inquiry into social dynamics Hendrik was a hipster, though technically speaking, he was not a very successful one: other hipsters looked strangely at him when he tried to socialise with them in the cool places in town and they would roll their eyes demonstratively behind his back. The problem was that Hendrik‚Äôs sense for …

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Passion Procedure: Close Encounters of the Medical Kind

klik hier voor de Nederlandse versie Doctor Harrington F. Tracy straightened his square shoulders and let the glance of his steel-blue eyes play like a searchlight over the group of nurses who had been gossiping like a charm of magpies, but were now huddled in bashful silence around a surgical utensil-trolley. “Come on … we …

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